Friday Follies 1.16.09

January 16, 2009

Tis that time once again when we take stock of the inane and foolish put upon us by those forced to navigate life with an amount of gray matter just slightly larger than that found in your average toad.

Winston Churchill is one of my heroes. He epitomizes to me, my vision of the English people. Not perfect by any means, but not prisses either. A stable, stoic, people endeared to their little island by centuries of history. The image of St. Paul’s, smoke rising all around during the height of the blitz, children waiting at train stations for their country exile away from the bombing, tens of thousands sleeping in the subways at night, about their daily duties at sunrise. Strong, persevering through all obstacles.

But I’m begining to worry about our cousins across the pond. It seems that at least once a week I’m reading a story from over there that makes me, well, scratch my head and just go, huh? Stories that I would not question if the dateline were San Fransico, Berkley or somewhere else along our communist coast. Reasoning expected from Reid, Pelosi, Waxman, or Boxer.

The past week has given us two such jewels of jibberish from our English brethren.

From the Timesonline comes the story of Alex Wissner-Gross, a researcher with not just too much time on his hands, but a few too few cells in the cranial cavity. In a sincere bid to snatch the top idiot award from the the “cow tax” loons, Wissner-Gross and fellow idgit, John Buckley over at are now warning us of the dire consequences we face from Google searches.

Seems that all those servers Google has scattered around the globe to bring information to the masses are huge energy hogs and evil purveyors of every GWL’s (global warming lemming) worst nightmare: CO2. Yes, again, that terrible byproduct of our very own breathing, and life source for all things plant like, carbon dioxide. Wissner-Gross’ delusions are serious enough that he has actually submitted his “research” to the U.S. Institute of Electrical and Electronics Engineers (yes, the same guys who give us the “meets IEEE standards” that none of us know beans about) for publication.

I haven’t heard whether IEEE is going to publish, but you can absorb all the details at:

Google Energy Grab

The Telegraph brings us another delightful story of government grab. Not satisfied that enough of the English population has succumbed to the global warming mantra spewed over the airwaves and internet, a government agency is instituting a door to door campaign to further it’s assault on common sense and reason.

Beginning this week, denizens living in one of the trial areas will be visited by “food champions” from the government’s Waste and Resourse Action Program (WRAP) agency. (I SWEAR I am NOT making this up.) The officials will initially target 24,500 unsuspecting households and offer advice on how to make better use of leftovers and the proper portion sizes to prepare. (I SWEAR I am NOT making this up.)

The initial “officials” will have received one day of training and be paid around £8.49 ($12.25 U.S) to knock on doors and convince their fellow citizens to knock off their wasteful ways. Oh, and of course there will be a bonus for bothering people on a Saturday. (I SWEAR I am NOT making this up.)

The door to door campaign is part of WRAP’s larger “Love Food Hate Waste” campaign that has so far cost the English taxpayer £4 million ($6 million US) and would require tens of millions more if allowed to expand across the entire UK. A WRAP spokesperson, Julia Falcon said: “…In the scheme of things, this is a fairly modest cost to the taxpayer to test this approach.” (Why is it that only government bureaucrats think that EVERY program is but only a “modest” cost when spending OUR money)

The ultimate irony in all this lunacy is that to complement the door to door visits, over 24,000 leaflets will need to be printed. These booklets will give different tips but will also direct persons to none other than the campaign website for further information. (How could the WRAP officials have allowed this travesty. In their zeal to reduce waste, they will be printing thousands of leaflets directing people to gasp, feed that global Google beast! Oh my!) And I STILL swear I am NOT making this up.

Don’t believe me? Generate some more CO2 and visit:

Waste Not Want Not

And while you’re on the site please do me a favor. How about perfoming a couple hundred or so google searches for me. It’s currently 9 friggin degrees here in my little piece of the world and right now we need all the global warming we can get.

Have a great weekend and see I’ll see you back on Monday.

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