Twas the night before CRomnibus

December 18, 2014

Image: A.F. Branco – Americans for Limited Government

This past weekend John Boehner, Harry Reid, and Barack Obama came together in grand “bi-partisan compromise” to pass one of the largest betrayals of the American voter in modern times.  Known as CRomnibus, it funds the Department of Homeland Security through February 27th, and the rest of your federal government through September 30th, 2015 complete with something for virtually every special interest in D.C.

The dollar cost is $1.1 trillion but the cost in the trust between voters and their representatives is incalculable at this time.

In the spirit of the season, (with apologies to Clement Clarke Moore):

Twas the night before Cromnibus

Twas two weeks before Christmas, when all through the halls

All creatures were stirring, lobbyists et al;

They all had their hands, extended with care,

In hopes that their cause, in law would be there;

The leadership huddled, all smug in their heads;

While visions of betrayal, danced in their heads;

No need for the voters, they were all but saps,

Time to settle old scores, remove spending caps,

When out on the wire, there arose such clatter,

I sprang from my lull, to see what was the matter.

Away to the screen, I flew like a flash,

Tore open the links, read through in a rash.

My eyes turned to red, how we’d all just been snowed,

I could help not but wonder, how low could they go?

When what to my wondering eyes did appear,

But a pile full of stench we were asked now to cheer,

With Boehner and Reid saying “pass it now quick”,

I knew in a moment, I soon would be sick.

More rapid than eagles, the deals oh they came,

And they whistled, and shouted, and called them by name:

“Now Bank Bill , now Derivatives, now Portraits and Pickins!

On Ocare, on Campaigns, on Commissions and Fixins!

To the top of the pile! More debt be our call!

Now dash way! Dash away! More goodies for all!”

As leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,

Why bother to govern, when can spend to the sky;

So over the voters, the riders they flew

With the sleigh full of pork and St. Cromnibus too —-

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof

The wheeling and dealing of each dollar they took,

As I drew in my head and, and was turning around,

Down the Capital steps, St. Cromni did bound.

He was dressed all in slime, from his head to his foot,

And his clothes were all tarnished with lies and his loot;

A bundle of deals he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a peddler, just opening his pack.

His eyes—how they twinkled! His feats oh how merry!

His cheeks red as roses, his successes so many!

His droll little mouth, was drawn up like a bow,

And the beard on his chin, hid the lies he’d just told;

The stump of democracy he held tight in his teeth,

And the smoke as it burned, he cared not to see;

He had a broad face, and a right round pork belly

That shook when he fleeced, like a bowl full of jelly.

He was chubby and plump, so full of himself,

And I cried when I saw him, knew what we’d been dealt;

A wink of his eye, and a twist of his head

Now left me no doubt, what we all had to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

And emptied the stockings of those naïve, voting jerks,

And giving the finger, to from all he’d just stole,

And giving a nod, up the steps back he rose;

He sprang to his Denali, to his team gave a whistle,

And away our cash flew, like the down of a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight–

“Happy Cromnibus to all and to all know my might!”


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